


Love You Too

by xynis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: First Time, Fluff, I was thinking S1 or S2 but that's up for debate, M/M, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-25
Updated: 2014-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-10 09:34:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2020047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xynis/pseuds/xynis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam thought he'd been doing a good job hiding it. Right up until Dean said, "Do you love me?"<br/>Then Sam thought he'd lose his brother forever. Right up until Dean said, "Love you too."<br/>And now things are just confusing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Do You Love Me?

Sam thought he’d been doing well hiding it. Because honestly, Dean wasn’t the type of guy who was just going to be okay with his younger brother majorly crushing on him. So yeah, Sam’d been hiding it and denying it and not really having that much sex because it so wasn’t cool to yell someone else’s name and Sam couldn’t seem to keep the word Dean out of his mouth. And given that it’d been probably five years now since he’d admitted it to himself, Sam would say that yeah, he was doing a good job. He was hiding it well enough that even through years of living with his brother pretty much 24/7, his own strange side didn’t crop up.

Which is why he was utterly and completely blindsided when Dean casually said, “Do you love me?”

And Sam should’ve been able to laugh it off, to claim love for him only in a completely normal, brotherly way. But he couldn’t. He couldn’t imagine letting any answer but the truth fall from his lips, so he just said, “Yes,” and waited for the aftermath, for whatever was about to happen because it sure as hell couldn’t be good.

Dean nodded, finishing his routine evening gun cleaning and sliding his tools away. And Sam could only wait for more of a reaction, his heart pounding and his breath caught in his throat. He could hardly stand to look at Dean but he couldn’t possibly look away so he just stood frozen by his bed while he waited for Dean to say something, _anything._

Eventually, way later than Sam would have wanted, Dean quirked a smile his direction and said, “Yeah, I love you too.”

Which, again, wasn’t what Sam was expecting, so he just kept standing there, gaping and wondering what the hell Dean could’ve possibly meant until his brother shrugged and lay down for the night, falling asleep in his quick Dean-way.

What the hell.

 

The morning wasn’t really any different than mornings previous. Dean was up way too early because he’d somehow lucked out by being the morning person in the family, and was already showered and dressed by the time Sam woke up.

“Dude,” Dean said, an easy lopsided grin on his face, “Bout time you woke up. I’m freaking starving.”

 

Diner food freaking sucked. To be honest, home-cooked food was probably second in his list of what he missed about ‘normal life’ (right after not having a billion near-death experiences under his belt). Sam grimaced at the breakfast options before ordering their platter of eggs and various types of meat and toast. It was bound to be slightly undercooked and either horribly oversalted or not salted at all, but since Sam wasn’t too good at cooking and didn’t really like trying it either, diner food was what kept him alive.

Dean ordered biscuits and gravy with a side of sausage and hash browns because he couldn’t seem to order anything remotely resembling healthy ever. Then he turned that easy grin back on Sam and Sam was suddenly pretty uncomfortable because Dean never grinned this much – oh yeah and they might have confessed to loving each other the night before.

Dean’s feet tangled with his under the table, and Sam almost jerked away before thinking, _why the fuck not_ and just enjoying being with his brother.

During breakfast they talked about possible cases. The list wasn’t huge. There was a possible haunting in Louisiana, but if there was a spirit it didn’t seem particularly malevolent and probably didn’t exist. Then there was another possible haunting in a New York City flat, which was pretty rare because a lot of stuff there was new(er). But that didn’t seem worth the time either because they knew like three hunters relatively close to the area and it’d be a helluva lot easier to send one of them that direction than drive all the way over their themselves.

And that was it. Their chances of having a busy week weren’t looking really high.

Dean mulled over it for a minute while he scooped the leftover gravy off his plate. When he was done, he ran a finger over the surface to catch another few drops before saying,

“Dude, what if we just like, took a week off or something?”

Dean never wanted a week off. Well okay he probably wanted one all the time but he rarely indulged because he felt obligated to take care of problems or whatever. Whatever the reason was, they didn’t take vacations and Sam was pretty surprised by the suggestion because it was usually him who had to drag Dean to the coast or something to take a few days off to stretch their muscles and breathe.

“Uh. Yeah. Sure.” Sam found himself saying, and then he was greeted yet again by that quick grin that made him want to smile back like he was some teenager on a date.

“Okay, Sammy. So we can stay here in this skeezy little town or we can head someplace else, whaddya wanna do?”

Sam found himself making a face. “No, gah, not here. You pick, someplace not here and definitely not worse than here.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Sam followed Dean out of the booth. “Go, back the motel or go, someplace not here?”

“Well we gotta hit the motel, Sam, all our stuff’s back there. But yeah, I don’t really wanna stick around here, d’you?”

“No,” Sam admitted, climbing in the car. Dean wasn’t usually like this. Nothing about this was like Dean – but at the same time, it still had that natural feel to it that everything they did together had, and it was really throwing Sam off.

 

A couple hours later Sam was even more confused, like really really fucking confused and he didn’t know what he was even supposed to be doing anymore.

Dean’d tousled his hair back at the motel like he hadn’t done for years. Sam used to hate it but this time it’d felt so affectionate that he almost leaned into the feeling before he realized Dean was already across the room again, gathering up his odds and ends. So yeah, that threw Sam off.

Then he was debating about whether or not this was just Dean trying to be a more affectionate brother when he found a kiss being planted on his cheek as they walked out of the place. And okay, that was super chaste but totally not brotherly considering that Sam wasn’t five freaking years old anymore.

So yeah, he was confused. Dean hadn’t done anything else since climbing in the Impala and turning on the radio (the actual radio, thank God, instead of his cassettes) and alternating between humming along and not doing anything at all. But just because Dean seemed all normal now didn’t mean that there wasn’t something totally wack going on. He found himself wondering if maybe they didn’t have a case on their hands right now before telling himself not to be a douche and that there hadn’t been any other sign of anything paranormal going on so he should just calm the hell down and enjoy the drive.

It was hard to enjoy the drive when Dean was half-smiling every couple minutes like he had some private joke – which for all Sam knew he did because he didn’t have any clue if Dean was being honest or literal when he’d said “love you too.”

 

Sam dozed off at some point and woke up as Dean pulled into a parking lot. The ache in his muscles told him it’d been a few hours and maybe he shouldn’t sleep in cars so much now that he was getting older.

Sam groaned and sat up. “Hnng, where are we” he mumbled, trying to stretch out a little bit in the cramped space.

“Hotel just outside’a Redding,” Dean responded, stopping the car and getting out. It wasn’t until Sam got out as well that he processed what Dean’d said.

“Wait a sec, did you just say _hotel_?”

Sam couldn’t really see Dean’s face because it was getting kind of dark, but he could hear the smile in his voice. “Yeah. Vacation, Sammy, remember?”

Sam shrugged. Whatever, it’s not like they made real money anyway so he couldn’t exactly complain about spending too much of their hard-earned cash.

Checking in was simple as usual. It was a bit different in that they were getting a hotel room so the hall was inside and the beds looked like might have nice sheets, but other than that it was the same routine they’d always done.

Dean plopped down on the nearest bed with a groan. “’m tired, Sam,” he mumbled into the pillow.

Sam laughed. “Go to sleep, then. I’ll order Chinese or something.”

Dean made a noise of assent and fell asleep soon after.

After his long nap in the car, Sam wasn’t really all that tired. He debated getting on the internet and looking for another case, because that’s usually what he did when he was bored, but the whole vacation thing stopped him. So he ordered a couple boxes of Chinese food and took a quick shower, glad to let the warm water relax his muscles after hours of being cramped in the same position.

He woke Dean after the food arrived. A quick tap to the bottom of his shoe followed by, “Food, man,” was enough to rouse his brother.

Dean had quite the case of bedhead already, but he’d never cared about that so Sam didn’t even bother pointing it out. He’d be going back to sleep soon anyway.

The older Winchester was obviously still tired so he didn’t do a whole lot of talking while they ate, just devoured his food while playing footsie with Sam under the table. It was still really weird for Sam so he didn’t do a whole lot of reciprocating, he just didn’t pull away either which was apparently enough for Dean.

Dean planted another kiss on Sam’s cheek when he finished, mumbling, “Love you,” before shuffling off to the bathroom to finish his nightly routine.

And while Sam was kind of embarrassed and surprised and also mildly flattered, he was also getting a little ticked off because he didn’t know the rules to this game and if Dean was just messing with him, fuck. Sam didn’t know what he’d do if Dean was screwing with him because this was getting really close to being everything Sam had wanted for years and he couldn’t stand the thought of Dean backing off with a laugh when Sam started flirting back.

That little bit of slightly ticked off kept growing inside him until he was pretty damn irritable by the time Dean finished brushing his teeth and stripping out of his jeans and everything else he did before going to sleep.

“What the fuck, Dean.” Sam said when he finally emerged from the bathroom.

Dean just looked confused. “What the fuck, Sam?” he repeated.

Sam got up, just now realizing he’d been sitting in the same place since Dean’d left.

“I mean it, Dean. I don’t know what you’re doing and, and I just really need to know what you’re doing, okay?”

The confusion on Dean’s face was gone, replaced with a tired expression and Sam knew exactly what he was going to say before he said it. “Sam, can we do this tomorrow?”

Sam’s blood boiled at that. Dean was dodging this really very important conversation and Sam didn’t want this to be one of those things that got blown off indefinitely until it never got brought up again.

“No Dean, we can’t do this tomorrow, okay, I really need an answer.”

Dean was a lot closer to him suddenly, face inches from his own, and Sam’s breath and whatever else he’d been about to say all disappeared in a rush and all he could think about was how close Dean’s lips were to his and damn he should say something but there was _Dean_ and everything was just a jumble in his head, so all he did was stare.

And then Dean moved up on his toes to get just a little closer and holy shit their mouths were touching, Dean was kissing him softly like he wanted this too, and Sam didn’t even know if he responded because he knew he sure as hell didn’t close his eyes. Everything around him was Dean and if he could freeze time at any point it would be right then – not back with Jess, not as a kid, no, it’d be here with Dean, with Dean’s soft lips caressing his own, it’d be this perfect moment.

And then Dean pulled back and the air came rushing back into the room and Sam found himself panting, gasping in air like he hadn’t been breathing the entire time because let’s face it he probably wasn’t.

Dean looked up at him, green eyes meeting hazel and yeah okay Sam could get used to this.

“Tomorrow, Sammy, okay?” Dean whispered. Sam almost didn’t process what he was saying because he was drinking up the sound of his voice. It wasn’t until Dean pulled away completely and flopped on his bed again that Sam realized he’d just lost the argument and that he didn’t even really care that much.

Dean was asleep sinfully fast, leaving Sam to take care of his own nightly routine and settle in bed with a mind whirling through the last 24 hours, trying to find his footing somewhere.

He fell asleep incredibly excited for tomorrow.


	2. Show You When We Get There

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tomorrow, and how Dean's got the whole thing planned out.

When Sam woke up in the morning, Dean was in the bathroom.

Which was fine. Like actually legitimately totally fine because while Sam was ready to have their talk, he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face his brother after their mild brush with incest the night before.

 _Nope,_ Sam thought, _I_ _’_ _m not gonna think about this. I_ _’_ _m not._

He did, of course. He thought about it a whole lot. It was impossible not to.

Dean came out of the bathroom some time later. “All yours, Sam,” he said, “Then let’s check out ‘n catch some breakfast. Chinese food’s awesome and all but it doesn’t exactly stick around, y’know?”

Sam didn’t argue. He headed for the bathroom pretty quickly, actually. Maybe that whole talk thing could wait just a little longer, after all.

 

A couple of pretty quiet hours of driving later, though, Sam was itching for Dean to broach the subject. And when he kept not doing it – kept driving and humming and half-smiling, Sam decided he’d bring it up him damn self.

“Dean,” he finally said.

“Mmm.” Was Dean’s only reply, glancing over at his younger brother before refocusing his attention on the road – there wasn’t much traffic but one thing John had taught them was to always pay attention to their driving.

Sam opened his mouth to ask about the kiss and then the question died in his throat. How does someone even go about asking their brother about that whole incestuous elephant in the room?

“Gotta speak up, Sammy,” Dean said after a moment, glancing over again with an expression that might be slightly amused if someone knew him as well as Sam did.

“I, uh, uhm, where are we going?” Dammit, he just needed to bring it up!

Dean smirked. “You’re just now thinking on asking? We’re headed for Cayucos. ‘nother few hours if the traffic’s light and the cops aren’t out.”

Sam nodded, slumping back against his chair. Since when couldn’t he say something? He’d always been the one single damn Winchester who could just say what they were thinking – and sure it’d given him grief but hell communication was important, right?

Sam didn’t know how much time passed before he opened his mouth again, though it only felt like a few minutes.

“Dean, when are you gonna tell me what’s going on?” There. Finally.

Dean sighed. “Now, I guess,” he said. “And then more later.”

“Wait, no, Dean, you can’t put this off any more, you have to –”

“ _Sam_. C’mon man, please. I got this whole thing planned out and if you make me say it all now it’s just going to get ruined.”

Sam shook his head. There was no way Dean was winning this one, even if he did apparently have it all planned out.

“Fine. But you gotta talk some now.”

Fucking dammit, he had to stop letting Dean win these.

And then Dean grinned, pretty damn close to a genuine smile, and Sam didn’t care as much about letting him win.

“Okay, you got it. Anything you really wanna know, ’r am I just s’posed to start talking?”

“Well. Y’know. I was thinking we could talk about… y’know. Last night. Y’know.”

“What, you mean the kiss?”

Way too easy. How could Dean say it that so easily.

“Yeah, Dean, I mean the freaking kiss, okay?”

Dean shrugged a little bit, and Sam was briefly worried that he was going to brush it off again before he started talking.

“I dunno what you want me to say, Sam. I wanted to kiss you. ‘m pretty sure you wanted to kiss me, given that whole ‘I love you’ thing we got going on. I also kind of wanted you to shut up, and I figured that was as good a way as any to get your mouth busy with something other than words. So yeah, I kissed you, and I can’t say I’m exactly sorry. Why, are you?”

Sam cleared his throat twice before he could find the words, but he was shaking his head before that. “No. No, I’m not sorry either.”

Dean’d been sort of smiling through the whole conversation so it’s impossible to say he smiled right then, but his grin definitely grew a little bigger.

“So we don’t have anything to worry about.” He said, slouching down in his seat a little as he drove, smile still touching the corners of his mouth.

Sam wasn’t so sure. Well okay he wasn’t exactly worried but he couldn’t say his mind was completely at ease, either. Sure he loved Dean and damn right he wanted to kiss him, wanted a lot more than that, but he couldn’t help worrying about Dean forcing himself or this being temporary or a billion other little things that probably weren’t even real concerns.

There was silence for another few miles while Sam mulled it over and tried to figure out what he was supposed to say. There wasn’t really a supposed-to-say, he decided. Nobody was supposed to be in a slightly incest-y relationship that was looking towards getting at least a little bit more incest-y. So he could pretty much say whatever the hell he wanted and it’d still fall outside the social norm, which didn’t really bother nearly as much as it should have (which is to say, it didn’t really bother him at all).

“Why Cayucos?” Sam ended up asking. Okay, maybe not the best response, but it was a question he’d been wondering about for several miles so he figured he might as well ask.

Dean reached over as if tousle Sam’s hair before jerking his hand back to the wheel so they wouldn’t swerve off the road. His smile was probably a little shakier than it would’ve been if they hadn’t almost wrecked just then, but it was still his cocky Dean smile nonetheless.

“I’ll show you when we get there,” he said.

 

Sam cracked his back in way more places than he should be able to when they finally reached the smallish town. Damn, endless car drives were not doing him any favors.

“I’ll check us into the hotel, you grab the bags.” Dean said, and Sam didn’t argue, just finished cracking his limbs until they were functional again before grabbing their duffle bags from the back, shoving some extra salt in his own because his supply was getting a little lower than he’d like. He was still going to salt the doors and windows even if this town had that ‘can’t-hurt-a-fly’ appearance, because all the years as a hunter had given him some serious trust issues when it came to sleeping in a strange place – which pretty much meant sleeping any place ever.

Dean’d finished scanning his totally fake credit card by the time Sam found his way inside. “Room 204,” he said, tossing Sam a room key. Which Sam didn’t appreciate at all, because it was drop the duffle or let the card whiz past his head and he chose the former, ditching the right-hand duffle bag with a distinctly metallic clank as a gun hit the floor.

The clerk quirked an eyebrow at him, looking down at the bag.

 _Don_ _’_ _t mind us,_ Sam thought as he picked it back up with an apologetic smile to the clerk, _Just bringing a few guns into your hotel. No need to call the cops._

In the elevator, he lobbed the bag at his brother. “Fuck you, Dean. That guy totally thinks we have a gun or some shit in your bag.”

Dean made that face that said he was thinking something dirty and was choosing not to vocalize it. Sam usually appreciated the gesture, but at the same time it was really very awkward trying to imagine what Dean could’ve been thinking and oh shit, what if it involved Sam? Fuck it probably did involve Sam – they got mistaken for a couple often enough, not to mention that now they might actually be becoming a couple –

Hell no. Nope. Not pursuing that train of thought. No.

 

Usually after checking in somewhere, they’d fortify the place and then either buckle down to research mode or head back out to hunt something, or sometimes just fall exhausted on the beds because it’d been a really long day on the road. But they’d done the rituals and salt and all that and it was still only like 4. And they didn’t have a case to focus on like usual, so Sam was suddenly really unsure of what exactly they were doing there. He was usually the one picking the vacation areas which meant he usually knew what was nearby and what they could do to relax and while there was obviously the ocean really close nearby, Sam didn’t know what Dean’s plan was or if Dean even had a plan.

And so Sam did that thing where he just kind of hung around and waited for Dean to say something, which he was getting pretty damn tired of doing all the time recently.

“Well _I_ haven’t got a suit and I’m pretty sure they don’t like skinny dippers on their family beach, so whaddya say we find a Goodwill or something?”

“We’re going swimming?”

Dean looked at him like he was crazy. “Sam, we’re right next to the freaking ocean, of course we’re going swimming.”

Of course they were going swimming. How could Sam have thought otherwise.

Sam didn’t vocalize his sarcasm, just shrugged. “Fine, Goodwill it is.”

 

The Goodwill search didn’t turn out because Dean didn’t check online to make sure there even was one or where it might be like Sam always did, and they couldn’t find a single Walmart either. Growing increasingly frustrated, Dean finally agreed to head back and let Sam look up some directions.

“What kind of town doesn’t have a damn Walmart?” Dean grumbled as they pulled back into the inn’s parking lot.

“Small ones, Dean. We’ve been to enough small towns that I’m not really surprised.”

Dean muttered something profane under his breath, and then repeated the action when Sam reported that they’d have to drive a ways out of town to get to a Goodwill.

Then there was the matter of searching through the small swimsuit selection to find a couple that both fit and weren’t made of horrifically garish colors. Sam thought Dean might call the whole thing off, but despite being obviously pretty close to being pissed off, Dean seemed dead set on going swimming.

When they finally got to it, the swimming didn’t last long though. The water was fucking cold and the sun wasn’t glaring down like it might’ve been if they’d gotten there earlier in the day, so they were back out on the sand soon enough, soaking up the last of the heat from the ground and not talking. Sam didn’t mind. It didn’t feel like a talking moment.

Dean was really close to Sam, like lean-against-you close. Which was nice, because to be honest Sam was still frigging freezing and the extra warmth was great. Not to mention the fact that it was Dean pressed up against him and that felt really nice too.

They watched the sunset change the color of the water as it moved further away from them, until they were staring into a semi-dark ocean and sky while the light bled onto their backs like it was trying to stick around just a little longer.

Dean sighed happily against Sam’s shoulder. “I love you,” he said absently, and Sam could feel his brother’s cheek move into a slow smile. And Sam was still kind of uncertain but hearing those words come from Dean’s mouth, feeling Dean against him, it was all perfect and it swelled in his heart until he couldn’t keep his own voice from coming out. “Love you too.”

Fuck he loved Dean so much.

 

Dean kissed him softly when they stood up, pressing Sam close against him. This time Sam wasn’t too surprised – blame it on the cuddles earlier or him slowly losing his ability to give a shit, whatever – so he readily kissed his brother back. It all soft touches and warm breath, gentle fingers moving in reassuring circles – Dean’s hands on Sam’s still-bare hips and Sam’s circled around on Dean’s shoulder blades. It was slow and soft and it felt pretty much perfect until it wasn’t anymore, until Sam needed more than the sweet, soft touches he was receiving. So he pulled Dean just a little bit closer, pressing his lips a little harder, a little rougher, moving his hands lower to hold Dean’s hips like Dean was holding his. Dean made a small noise against Sam’s mouth which felt awesome and then readjusted himself to match Sam’s pace and pressure and yeah okay _this_ was perfect, until it reached that point again where it wasn’t anymore and Sam didn’t really know what he wanted beyond the word more.

And that’s when Dean pulled back. “Public beach, man,” he said softly, lips so close to Sam’s and Sam didn’t really give a damn about it being a public beach because he still needed more, more of Dean, more of whatever Dean was willing to give him.

And then Dean pulled back a little more so they could make eye contact. “Let’s go back to the inn?” Dean asked, sounding a tiny bit uncertain and Sam didn’t know why that was what spurred him but it was that little sliver of uncertainty that pulled him back to his senses.

“Yeah. Hotel.”

Dean smiled a little, giving Sam a little peck on the lips as he grabbed his hand. The Impala was still in the parking lot because when they said beachside inn they really meant it and it was only a short walk back.

Sam almost chickened out probably seven times during the walk back. He didn’t know what Dean was planning but if it was anything along the lines of the want he felt during the kiss then it was going to go places, fast. Which didn’t really bother Sam – he liked kissing Dean and now he knew that he really liked holding his hand and he was pretty damn sure he’d like other types of intimacy with Dean as well. What bothered him was the fact that it didn’t really bother him at all. Weren’t people supposed to care that incest was bad, that being in a homosexual relationship in and of itself might be bad depending on your beliefs – wasn’t he supposed to care that he was probably breaking every law nature had?

But Dean’s hand kept him anchored. It was warm and calloused and held him tight, filling Sam with the safe feeling that always accompanied his brother. Sam knew he probably wasn’t supposed to but he liked how their fingers fit together, how their shoulders bumped together as they walked side by side in the twilight.

He couldn’t chicken out. He couldn’t. He wanted this too bad.

 

Dean didn’t drop his hand as they walked past the clerk like Sam figured he would. The new clerk didn’t really look surprised, just grinned a little at their entangled hands before turning her attention away again. And Sam could only really, really hope that they didn’t look like brothers and that Dean had given fake, non-related names because they could totally get arrested for incest.

Well they could actually be arrested for like everything they’d ever done, but.

 

The door shut with a quiet click, and then Dean was kissing him again which was totally okay with Sam. This time it still had lingering traces of softness, but it was a lot more insistent and Sam could roll with that too. He kissed back, pushing against Dean, opening his mouth just a little bit to let Dean in. And Dean went for it, pushing his tongue in, exploring Sam’s mouth and breathing harder against his face. Sam pushed back, letting Dean lead but giving him something to work with. It wasn’t hard to find their rhythm – they’d spent decades living together and learning each other’s patterns and they knew how to flow in time with each other. The kiss felt natural and synchronized and this was exactly what Sam’s previous relationships had been missing, this unity that made everything feel like there couldn’t be anything else.

Sam didn’t know when he’d been pushed on to one of their beds and he didn’t care. They were still shirtless from the beach which was awesome because he had the entire expanse of Dean’s chest to explore and later he would ask about that new scar but now he just couldn’t get enough of Dean.

And then like he was reading his mind and had decided to be an asshole, Dean pulled away, leaving Sam to gasp for air and wish Dean would just put his lips back already because he needed more, he’d needed more since the beach and Dean wasn’t supposed to be moving away.

Dean rested his forehead against Sam’s, breathing for a moment and murmured, “Love you,”

Sam whispered it back, and it was probably the truest thing he’d ever said.

Dean moved his head back just a little so he could meet Sam’s eyes. “Love you, Sam, love you so much. Let me?”

And Sam wasn’t exactly sure what he was asking about but it was probably about sex and yeah Sam could totally get on board with that, found himself saying yes over and over until Dean’s lips were back on his, silencing him with a gentle bite as he lowered Sam’s back down to the bed.

Dean didn’t let him remove either of their trunks. He moved his hands away over and over again until Sam was actually getting pretty close to begging before reaching down and slowly undoing the tie on Sam’s shorts. Sam didn’t know how he could stay so steady or how he could bear to move so slow when Sam was the one impatiently lifting his hips to let Dean pull them down, grunting in frustration as Dean slid them down at that same agonizing pace, drinking in every line of Sam’s body.

Dean’s gaze held him still as he tossed the shorts aside. His green eyes roved over Sam’s body, picking out all of the muscles and the sweat beginning to build on his skin and the semi-hard line of his cock against his stomach. Sam couldn’t even think about squirming away from his brother’s scrutiny, just lay still and let Dean look until his dark eyes flicked back up to Sam’s face and _finally_ there was that face that said things were about to get moving.

Dean ditched his own shorts quickly, letting Sam have an entirely too brief look at his gorgeous body before he was back on top of him again, kissing him over and over until they couldn’t breathe.

Sam’d had just about as much experience with a guy as the next fellow, but this blew every other encounter out of the water – not that the others got that far. But Sam was pretty sure he could have had sex with the literal Adonis and it wouldn’t even compare to how wonderful just having Dean on top of him felt.

Usually Sam just moving against his partner had felt awkward and clunky, but their rhythm kicked in again and they were sliding against each other, a hot clash of skin in all the right places.

Dean reached between them, cupping their erections in his perfect hand. Not long after he pulled his mouth away from Sam slightly, whispering “I love you,” over and over against Sam’s face and Sam didn’t know if he responded but everything inside of him screamed it back, holy shit Dean do you have any idea how much I love you, you’re perfect, I love you, I love you so much, Dean.

When he came it was ecstasy, coiling deep inside and releasing in a wave that pulled him under, filling his lungs and his heart and his entire body with an intense, burning pleasure that left him boneless and hazy.

Dean followed shortly after, and they shared a few lazy, open-mouthed kisses, murmuring “Love you,” back and forth until they couldn’t stay awake any more.


	3. Soft Sweet Gentle

When Sam woke up, he felt so good that the almost curled up against the warmth beside him and went back to sleep. Then he realized that the warmth beside him happened to be Dean, and he was instantly fully awake.

From there it was a battle of thoughts and morals. Mostly it was his morality screaming at him that he should probably care more, a lot more, about the fact that he was naked next to his brother the morning after coming apart underneath him. The only problem was that he didn’t really care, at all. It felt pretty damn awesome and after all the shit Sam’d been through in his life he was feeling like he deserved some pretty damn awesome. Plus, yeah it was probably all kinds of fucked up but it was also unlikely to go away so he might as well enjoy himself – life was short and he was pretty much guaranteed a seat in Hell anyway, so why the fuck not.

Yeah. Maybe he should care more, but the truth was he didn’t. Despite apparent non-caring, he still thought about it a whole ton in the almost-hour it took for Dean to wake up too.

Sam felt his brother stiffen against him as he woke and knew that he was probably going through the same whirlwind of thought. He found himself thinking that Dean shouldn’t have that same train of thought considering that by all means he was the one who initiated everything during the last few days.

Unless that was his hang up? Sam knew Dean well enough to know that he was quite possibly worried about taking advantage of his younger brother and blah blah blah. And then he figured (slightly guiltily) that it was about time he make a move so Dean didn’t even have a chance to feel that.

“Mornin’ sleepyhead,” Sam murmured against Dean’s hair, curling his arm around his brother’s shoulder in an awkward laying-down embrace.

Dean made a noise of probably agreement but made no move and only relaxed slightly. Aw shit, Sam really should’ve made a move sooner. Non-response would be a blow to anyone’s self-confidence, especially when there was questionable morality on the line.

“Hey,” he said gently, squeezing Dean’s shoulder. Dean reluctantly moved to look up at Sam, and there it was, in his eyes – the uncertainty and slight fear and just a tinge of regret that Sam wanted to wash away more than anything.

So he smiled a little and leaned down, giving Dean a loving, chaste kiss. “I love you, Dean.”

And then finally Dean started to relax against him and gave him a little smile back, and the happy warmth was back inside of Sam and he decided that he couldn’t possibly pick one perfect moment to have forever because the last few days were all just completely wonderful and if being with Dean was going to be like this for the foreseeable future then Sam never wanted to get out of bed.

Sam kissed his brother again, soft and short, then again, peppering little kisses on Dean’s lips and slowly lengthening them until they were kissing in earnest, pushing back and forth in a way that wasn’t as heated as the night before but with an undercurrent of ‘love you’ conveyed with each movement.

As the kiss continued growing until they hardly broke apart at all, Sam shifted to be on top of Dean, giving him a much better angle to get at Dean’s mouth. He could feel them both growing hard beneath him but he didn’t really pay it any mind, focusing all his attention on Dean’s lips and the many wonderful ways he could kiss.

Dean broke away after a while. “Sam,” he said softly, and Sam knew what he was asking for.

“Let me?” Sam asked, parroting back what Dean’d said the night before. And Dean looked uncertain but he still nodded, giving Sam a little quirk of a smile to say that he was okay.

So Sam took charge.

He was used to taking charge during sex. And he was used to taking quite a lot of charge and having some pretty rough, heated sex. And he really liked that.

But this wasn’t a heated sex moment. This was a moment for soft sex, slow sex, loving caressing gentle sex. Which Sam didn’t have as much experience with because it was hard to find that kind of sex with a one-night-stand, but he wanted it more than anything just then.

So he moved his hips slowly against Dean, kissing Dean’s neck and his chest and caressing his hair and his skin and his nipples, focusing all of his energy on making Dean feel good.

Piece by piece, Dean came apart underneath him until he was more open and vulnerable than Sam had ever seen him before, and he loved every second of it. He loved knowing this side of Dean, he loved everything about Dean so much that he couldn’t imagine ever being with anyone else again.

The rhythm was slower than the night before but still there, fitting the two together like puzzle pieces that couldn’t possibly fit with anything else.

“I love you,” Sam said in Dean’s ear, and that’s what pulled his brother over the edge with a small whimper that Sam kissed away.

 

Dean’s stomach growling kind of ruined the post-sex cuddles that Sam was totally looking forward to having all the time.

Sam raised his eyebrows. “Dude.”

Dean just scowled. “You jumped my bones before I could even use the bathroom, Sam, so yeah it’s ten in the morning and I haven’t done anything yet and I’m hungry.”

 

The vacation was cut short halfway through breakfast by Metallica playing in Dean’s pocket. Bobby’d found a pretty nasty poltergeist in Nevada and they were the closest available hunters, so he needed them to pack up and head on over.

Sam was a little disappointed that the vacation got cut short because they didn’t exactly take one often, but he guessed that the point of the entire thing had been taken care of so it didn’t really matter.

 

They didn’t talk about it in the car. They bitched about the weather and talked about cases and sang along to the radio and made fun of each other’s singing voices. Sometimes Dean grinned at the road in front of him like he was laughing at a private joke, but since Sam was in on it now he just smiled too. He knew what Dean meant.

They were brothers. They would do anything for each other. They lived out of a couple duffle bags, they travelled, and they talked about mostly overused subjects. They would probably die trying to save each other. And they loved each other a whole fuck ton of a lot.

 

At the motel in Nevada, the clerk assumed they wanted one bed. Neither one of them contradicted him, just gave each other little smiles that said, “Love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short chapter but pretty much this fic is about fluffy smut and confusion so, that's a wrap.

**Author's Note:**

> I want this to be a three chapter fic. I am working very hard to make this a three chapter fic. I can in no way promise that this will be a three chapter fic. I will update that as necessary.
> 
> Obviously it's not explicit yet but it will get there, just you wait.


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